sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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