he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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