Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
