I'm drive I can fine osifer
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Randomize
