THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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