I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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