That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
