Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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