She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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