PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
