I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
