I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You have to summon your inner elephant
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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