were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
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Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
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Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
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