Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
