like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
