Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
