Fine. I'll sleep in my office
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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