I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
