Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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