There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
