Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
