that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
