Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Randomize
