3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
