i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
