I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
