so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
