Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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