it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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