In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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