I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
