drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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