Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
