thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
