Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
