real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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