dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
