you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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