What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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