i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
