i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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