yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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