sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
