Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize