i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Randomize