didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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