I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize