If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize