hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
