so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
