i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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