U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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