Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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