Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
