Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
even my farts smell like vagina
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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