I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
