My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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