i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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