I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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