I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
