my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
