Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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