did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
