So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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