So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
