Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...