Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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