oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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