I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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