they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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