My girlfriend figured out who you are.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
