he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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