dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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