omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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